


The Beginning of Who We'll Be

by orphan_account



Category: Panic! at the Disco, Ryan Ross - Fandom, The Young Veins
Genre: Badly Written, Canon, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Multi, Post-Split, brendon urie is awkward af i forgot that was a thing, but cute, by the way, have some tooth rotting unbetad fluff, i am the father of fix it fics, i keep writing polyamorous!sarah idk why, if you dont like ryden, its been a while since i wrote this but im laughing, its got ryden, its legit just ryden, its not actually that bad, jon isnt there im a failure, old stuff, sarah and brendon were a thing, theyre happy, this never got betad But
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-27 01:39:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10799046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: They're different now, and things that were always out of reach might just have become possible.





	The Beginning of Who We'll Be

**Author's Note:**

> this is old, short and has a weird and badly written time-zoom at one point but hey if you want current ryden fluff go ahead. not real, most likely will never be real in this universe partly because the fact that i imagined this scenario etc diminishes the likelihood of it ever happening but as with everything there's a parallel universe where it is real which is just weird, y'know, cause every idea you ever have is just a dimension away, just writing it because the fan-created (in this universe) relationship is fun to explore.

“Y’know, you’re kinda squashing my thighs.” Ryan shifted in an attempt to get comfortable. His boyfriend squeaked and grabbed on to the back of the couch.

“You nearly threw me off,” Brendon laughed. Ryan shrugged and gestured for the other man to lie back, which he did, settling down onto Ryan’s shoulder.

They lay there for a while, Ryan reading while Brendon dozed. Dot was upstairs on their bed and wouldn’t be down to demand food and attention for a little while, they probably had around half an hour more before she wanted her morning dose of exercise. It was Brendon’s turn, not that he minded. He missed his old dogs less now that he was living with Ryan. Sarah had needed the companionship anyway and it wasn’t like her new boyfriend or girlfriend had any dogs. Heathens, honestly. Well, they had dogs in their lives now, and Sarah, so they were hopefully learning the ways of the light and Ryan had said he could take Dottie with him on tour so really everyone won out here.

“Also, I’m using the studio for today.” Ryan shifted to put his book down. “You’ve been in there for the past week and I’m supposed to be the one recording an album.”

“Wait, but, I’m nearly done! You can’t just kick me out.” Brendon twisted around till he was perched on Ryan’s chest, staring into his eyes.

Ryan laughed and sat up. Curse him and his new found muscles. Just cause he’d finally started vaguely, still a skinny fuck, filling out, didn’t mean he got to just sit up when Brendon was lying on him.

“That’s cheating,” Brendon pouted.

He glanced at Ryan who whistled for Dot. “You’ve got a dog to walk and you get it tomorrow. I just need something to prove I haven’t spent the past month lying on my ass. And I’m done writing so it kinda needs to happen at some point.”

“Can I come in and listen?” He wasn’t expecting Ryan to say yes. He’d changed, sure, but he’d always been protective of his music.

“Yeah, sure. Why not?” Ryan leaned over and pecked his lips before standing up and stretching. “You’re heavy.”

It was Brendon’s turn to laugh, stretching out across the entire couch and watching as Ryan’s eyes slid over his form, his slightly exposed stomach and the satisfied smirk he knew was on his face. Dottie trotted up to him and he jerked his eyes away from Brendon’s lips.

“Go on, get some breakfast for us while you’re out there. Maybe go shopping, I think we need something for lunch unless you want to go out? We’re seeing Dan for dinner so I thought we might stay in.”

He crossed over to the coat rack, retrieving Dot’s lead from the peg and clipping it to her her collar. “You could come with?”

“Tomorrow we’ll go together. I really need to do some work, B.”

His attempts at distracting his boyfriend from his musicmaking having failed, Brendon walked out the door.

When he got back, Ryan was in the studio with the door sign Z had got him hung up, the alien emoji next to the music notes. He wasn’t entirely sure why, or why he didn’t have a sign, but it was cute. Ryan had said he could go in and so he picked his way down the stairs in the hope he wouldn’t disturb the other man. His foot slipped on the second stair. For a brief second he felt sure his heart had stopped before he felt someone grab him and he was being held securely. Ryan blinked at him, looking slightly confused.

“My hero,” said Brendon dazedly. Jesus Christ those stairs had tried to kill him.

“You managed… to fall down the stairs? I’ve walked down those stairs in the dark and managed not to fall. They’re, they’re not steep stairs, B.”

“Nah. I did an elegant trip right into your arms.” He smiled up at Ryan, legs still a little too shaky for him to feel comfortable supporting himself. “See, look at where I am. Totally planned.”

“Right. Do you want to sit down before you actually hurt yourself?”

“Can you be the chair?”

Ryan raised an eyebrow and grinned before leading him to an actual chair, looking more amused than shocked now that he knew Brendon was ok. “How am I supposed to feel comfortable with you on tour, knowing I’m not there to save you from staircases and other potential tripping hazards.”

“I’m sure I’ll survive. Weren’t you doing the music?” Doing the music. Wow.

Ryan glanced at him before turning back to his recording equipment, unplugging his headphones so Brendon could hear. “This one’s about my beautiful idiot of a boyfriend and how he’s gonna die when he leaves me to travel the world.”

He began strumming and started to sing. “My boyfriend’s gonna die, cause he can’t walk down stairs, I’m writing this on the spot, but it’s still kinda true, stairs are very dangerous, especially when you can’t, walk down them without nearly dying.” More guitar and Brendon stifled a giggle. This was so uncalled for. “This is going on the album, so that he keeps it in his mind, that he’s got a guy waiting back at home, and a dog.” Dramatic minor chord progression and Ryan turned the recording off.

“Beautiful. Truly beautiful. A song worthy of the lyrical genius the fangirls attribute to you. Up there in the ranks of the great.”

Ryan shrugged. “It gets the point across. I’m gonna miss you, B. When you go.”

“It’s not for long, and I’ll miss you too. You’ll be off on tour soon, provided you don’t just give them an album full of that.”

“There’ll be a few songs about Dottie too, of course.”

“Of course.”

Brendon stood up and took the guitar from Ryan, leaning it carefully against the wall. He turned the recording to playback. Ryan blinked at him as he offered him his hand to pull him up.

“Time to dance,” said Brendon and winced at the unintentional pun. He hummed along to Ryan’s words as they awkwardly swayed to the absent beat. The other man’s hand found its way to the small of his back then he was being dipped – somewhat ungracefully on his part – and whisked back up into a twirl. He giggled as the song came to an end. It was only around a minute long, after all, but Ryan was laughing with him.

“You should totally release that. Just like post it on instagram or something. Break the internet.”

“And reveal your shame to the world? I can see it now, Kerrang – Brendon Urie cannot walk down stairs, terrifies boyfriend.”

“Someone somewhere has footage of me walking down stairs without dying.” That was probably true, there was a lot of random shit online. Not that he minded, blackmail material was always welcome especially when you were dealing with Pete Wentz, but sometimes he got a little concerned by some of the things they had.

Ryan kissed his neck lightly before moving back to his chair. “How was your walk?”

“’Twas a good walk. Many dogs were exercised.”

“You calling yourself a dog? Kinky.”

“You’d be the one getting off on it.”

He noticed the slight grimace on Ryan’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“Just writers block. I’ve got these songs down, I know what I want to play, I just, I don’t know. Ignore me.”

Brendon smiled at him before pulling him back up and up the stairs. Ryan went along uncomplainingly, out of the gloom of the studio and into the midday light of the kitchen. Dot stood up but Brendon ignored her.

“OK, so I may have forgotten to buy lunch stuff. Possibly intentionally but that doesn’t matter. Anyway, we’re going out for lunch, spending some time as just the two of us. And yes, I know its your day in the studio but you’ll never get anywhere if you don’t have a moment out of there.”

Ryan shrugged and passed him his coat. “Pizza?”

“You know it.”

They ordered takeaway and wandered back to the park where Brendon had taken Dottie earlier. He spread out his coat and gestured for Ryan to sit on it, only to notice Ryan doing the same for him. There was a moment of slight hesitation before they just sat on each other’s coats, since neither was going to give up their moment of gentlemanliness. A few hours after they’d finished the pizza, Brendon remembered the morning, lying on Ryan while Ryan read. Only now they were on the grass next to each other, staring up at the clouds while Ryan’s hand traced patterns onto his skin. Dot would need feeding soon and another walk, and then Brendon would leave. At some point Ryan would leave too, because that’s what they did. They’d never been great at staying still. But Ryan would follow him and he would follow Ryan.

“You could come with me?” He didn’t mean it as a question, more an impossibility, but Ryan turned his head to look at him. He was smiling a smile that Brendon didn’t recognize. After all these years he thought he knew all of Ryan’s smiles.

“Would you want me to?”

He thought of the songs, the anger and hurt in some of them, but then the more recent songs about the love and the ending. Ryan knew them all now. He’d pulled out all their secrets. For a while, Brendon thought, Ryan had hated himself. He’d stayed away for so many years. He’d felt the same, of course, unable to reach out. But they had. Everything had fallen apart and they had come together.

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

“Then I’ll come. If you want me there.”

Ryan was the first up this time, pulling Brendon with him. “I’d better get on with recording then, if you’re taking me back to Oz for a few months.”  
“You should release that song, get the fangirls buzzing.”

“I don’t think they ever stopped.”

“No.” Brendon intertwined their fingers before tucking himself under Ryan’s arm. They walked home. The day after, Brendon would finish unpacking the remnants of his clothes. The day after that, Ryan would begin packing for tour. The song was released around a week later, making Ryan once again trend on tumblr. Brendon informed him of that fact. Two months later, Ryan released his solo debut to critical acclaim. Brendon tweeted him, warning him that the world remembered the now infamous ryden stairs song. He joined Ryan on tour for the first few weeks. They argued, sometimes, about who got to use the recording studio, about who had to buy dog food, about ridiculous things. They came back together, too, after every fight. Brendon fell down stairs, Ryan fell down

stairs, Dot managed to survive. Brendon learned Sarah’s girlfriend’s name. He still ignored the boyfriend, a decided cat person. There was only so far he was willing to go.  
And six months later, Brendon walked into the studio. Neither his nor Ryan’s signs were up and he’d assumed it was empty. Also, yes, he had his own sign. Z had even made it for him, for his birthday. He managed to navigate the stairs and idly wished Ryan was there, only to look up. Ryan was sitting on the chair holding an acoustic and began to strum and sing.

“My boyfriend might just live, cause he’s learned to do the stairs, this one’s actually prewritten, but it’s coming from the heart. Maybe there’s just a moment, between who we’ll be and who we’ve been, and they say take that moment, follow where it leads, you’ve been my world since seventeen, and that world is all I need, so if we’ve said in all honesty, we’ll see what the future brings, we’re waiting for a moment, but this time I spend with you, is the only moment I need.” He set aside the guitar and knelt, bringing out a ring box. “Will you marry me?”

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr is karma-with-a-catch come say hi and i'll update dog walking at some point soon. comments and kudos very much appreciated, all lyrics/work are mine, i can't copy ryan ross's writing style since my own is entirely different as everyone's is unique but whatever suspend your disbelief please (im sorry im talkative tonight and procrastinating a history essay due tomorrow rip)


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